I'm not a party person
by The Maze Writer
Summary: Dan, against his better judgment, let's PJ drag him to a party. Unfortunately, he gets hammered, more drunk than he has ever been. He gets Phil on the phone to ask him to bail him out, all while the alcohol loosens his tongue into saying some very truthful, sweet things.


Phew. This business meeting was taking longer than Dan had anticipated. Technically, it had finished a while ago, but they just kept handing the drinks out "one more time." Dan could hold his alcohol pretty well, but he knew that if he kept this up, he was to be tipsy pretty soon.

Finally he waved goodbye and left, feeling a breath of relief fill him as he felt the cool air of the morning hit his face.

"Dan?"

Dan whipped around, and there stood PJ.

"PJ? Wha-?"

PJ smiled widely, looking Dan up and down.

"Did the businessmen get you drunk?"

"No. I didn't have _that_ much, and anyway-"

"Let's change that."

PJ grabbed Dan's wrist and pulled him down the hall.

Where are we going? Phil-"

"-Will be fine! You're going to a party! You need a night out."

"I'm fine, I-"

"Come on Dan! Just go for a few minutes."

Dan shut his month and let his friend drag him down the hall.

Maybe he did this.

…

Flashing lights, loud music, bottomless drinks. A stereotypical party, a scene he hadn't been in since his brief uni years.

As soon as his eyes adjusted to the strange contrast between the dark room and the flashing lights, PJ was back, shoving a drink in his hands.

"Drink this, maybe it'll loosen you up," PJ smiled, thumping Dan on the back.

Dan scowled a little, but took the drink anyway, knocking it down his throat. As soon as his glass was empty someone passed his another and soon the lights were too bright and the music was making his head pound.

Everything was too detailed and his eyes had trouble focusing on one thing.

PJ came up behind him then.

"Drunk yet?" he slurred, swaying on his feet.

"I'm fine," Dan replied, the words seeming to get lost on the way out his throat. He tipped another shot down his throat.

"You ARE drunk!" PJ laughed gleefully, stumbling back into the crowd. "Have a good time!"

Dan blinked dolefully as PJ got sucked back into the crowd. What was it that he had to do? He knew it was important… Oh, right, Phil.

Dan took out his phone out of his pocket and dialed Phil.

On the first ring, Phil picked up.

"Dan? Dan where are you? Why aren't you home?"

"I'm at a party," Dan giggled.

He could here Phil groan from the other end of the line.

"You're drunk." It was a statement.

Dan huffed. He was not, why did everyone keep saying he was….

Dan's stomach turned and he bent over a plant pot, packing up the bile in his stomach.

"Did you just throw up?" Phil's voice went up an octave in worry, and Dan wondered why his friend was worried. He was great!

"Yeah, but it's cool," he slurred, wiping the bile of his face.

"Where are you?" Phil asked again.

"I don't know, a party."

"WHERE."

"I said I don't know! Gosh, you're such a big meanie. You _were_ the nicest person ever but now you're a meanie."

"I'm sorry Dan. But are you in our apartment complex still?" Phil tried to use a gentler tone, almost coaxing.

"I think so Philly, I'm not sure anymore. The colors keep moving….."

His stomach did a backflip and he threw up on the floor.

"Dan? Are you ok?" Concern was thick in Phil's voice now.

"I'm on the floor Philly. How did I get on the floor?" Dan laughed.

A lady on his other side kicked him but suddenly he felt numb.

"Ok Dan. I want you to go outside to see what room number you're in. I'll come get you."

Dan giggled again but unsteadily got to his feet. He stumbled through the doorway.

"You're so nice Philly, the best person I've ever known…"

"You too Dan." He could hear the smile in Phil's voice.

Dan peered at the plaque that held the room number.

"12B."

"Ok. Keep me on the line. I'm coming to get you. Stay still."

"I'll try." Dan squeaked, he wanted to see how high his voice would go.

"Ok, good." Dan could hear a door in the background shutting and the echoing of shuffling footsteps.

"I shouldn't have come Philly, I didn't want to come, and I didn't want you to worry." Dan moaned, now feeling sick.

"It's ok. I'm fine, I'm just glad you're safe and relatively fine."

"Relatively…..hmm…." Dan suddenly felt tired. His head hurt, the room spun, and his throat ached.

"Phil, I don't feel goodddddd," he moaned.

"I know Dan. I know. Just lay down ok? Lay on the floor flat and I'll come get you."

"Phil, I-"

The lights went out in his mind, and the ground came rushing up to meet him.

He was out before he could hear Phil's yells on the other end of the line.

…

"Dan? Dan. Get up. Wake up?" Someone was poking at his side.

Dan groaned, but opened his eyes.

Phil's worried face loomed above him.

"I think you passed out. Are you ok? Do you need a hospital?"

"Nooooo. Let's just go homeee," Dan groaned.

"Ok. I'm going to help you up. On three."

Phil hooked his hands under Dan's arms and pulled.

Dan's got up unsteadily, leaning on Phil heavily.

"There's no way you're going out alone again." Phil muttered.

Dan was too tired and drunk to care.

Phil ended up half-carrying, half dragging Dan back to the apartment.

As soon as Phil opened the door Dan nearly collapsed onto the rug. Phil used all strength to hold him upwards.

He put his arm around Dan's shoulders and pulled him down the hallway, into his room. He led Dan to his bed and Dan collapsed onto the sheets.

"You need me to get anything?"

Phil turned back towards the bed. Dan had already passed out.

Phil smiled slightly, making sure that before he left, a glass of water and a trash bin were by the bed.

…

It was three in the afternoon when Dan woke up. He pushed his head over the side of the bed and threw up into the trash bin.

His head pounded, razors stabbed at his eyes. He groaned, but it came out more like a whine, making his head spin. His throat stung and he grabbed the water glass from his bedside and chugged it down.

"Oh, fuck," he gasped.

The water hits his empty stomach and rose right back up, spilling out of Dan's mouth and into the bin.

At this point, Phil comes in, just as Dan let go of the bin and fallen back onto the bed.

"Hey sleeping beauty, how are you feeling?"

"Please kill me," he groans.

Phil laughs.

"Yeah, well, you _were_ pretty hammered last night. Do you remember any of that?"

"Not really," he groaned. All memories of the last 24 hours had become pretty hazy.

"Well," Phil started, pausing to get comfy on the corner of Dan's bed. "You passed out, I'd say that was a pretty big thing."

Dan's eyes widen.

"Are you serious?"

Phil nodded.

"Yeah, when you were talking to me through the phone you collapsed and all I heard was a giant thump before I started running. I _ran_ for you Dan." Phil tried to lighten the mood with a stupid joke but he was obviously unhappy.

"I'm sorry Phil, I shouldn't have drunk that much. I didn't mean you to worry."

Phil's mouth cracked up to side.

"I know. I think it was PJ's fault honestly. You got pressured."

"I did," Dan admits. "But it's not PJ's fault. He didn't mean it to turn out like this."

"I know," Phil repeated. "At least you didn't have to go to the hospital. You know how close you were to alcohol poisoning?"

Dan cringed.

"Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." Phil considered, then reached and gently smacked Dan on the back of the head. He smiled. " _Now_ I'm not mad."

Dan winced but grinned back at Phil.

"Thanks Philly."

Phil's face cracked into an even bigger smile, as if he had just remembered something.

"Well, after all, I am the nicest person you know."

Dan felt his face flame.

"And the best."

"Shut up!" Dan screeched, despite the roaring headache, throwing a pillow at Phil.

Phil ducked, almost falling of the bed in laughter.

"Thanks, by the way," He said more seriously, standing up. "Now, go back to bed."

Dan let his head collapse back on the bed.

"And Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't do that again."


End file.
